I am in control

Focus on the movement. Forcing my body to move. Back into happy, dismal the cell.
My back screams at every move I even think about making. You did a proper job in breaking it. My heart shatters at every relationship I even think about starting. You did a proper job in breaking it.
Something is ringing in the background. Time to build myself back up again. Running low on supplies. Mortar around my heart. Tape up my eyes. Tie up my posture into something permissable. Still the pain. Canned laughter and painted on humor. Fumble through the day.
Your stupid comment. I'm screaming in the brain. But I pass it off with a laugh. And I'll pay for that later.
Kiss up. Wipe off.
The sun and the westernly mountains are lying together. This means one thing to me.
Back to the whipping post.

And the whip master is a bitch. I would know.

Powdered Almonds

He was tripping, stumbling on clouds. Big goofy grin on his face. Every third step took him a step higher. With eyes half closed he smelled the roses. With arms wide open he took in the view. Light seeping and cascading off of every corner, light that seemed to dance, to breath. Light that warmed the lungs when you inhaled the sweet aroma. Light that sparkled and cast a golden fuzz on everything it touched. He danced, skipped, swam and ran on the thankful meadow. Others scorned and laughed and pointed. Sometimes he too saw the blood, but he knew this was better than surrender.

It had to be. Had to be.

She was gliding, flowing on the broken glass. With eyes wide open she tiptoed around, avoiding the thorns. With arms folded tightly she considered the sight. Too brightly the light shone on the broken scene. All you could taste was pollution if you inhaled. Eyes stinging, she looked for the man with the bruises on his skin. There he was, trampling on the grass, getting spit on by the people he called friends. Noone called her friend. But she wouldn't get hurt this way so it was better.

It had to be. Had to be.

So tell me, which is better?

Head Underwater.

I wanna yell REAL loud. Right now. Release. Thrashing voices of contentment and uneasiness dueling for residency inside my mind. The silence assaults my ears with subconscious noise. 

Time is ticking ever forward. Going, going, gone! Going, going, gone!

SCREAM!YELL!SHRILL!SHOUT!CRY!SCREECH!WAIL!SHREK!HOWL!ROAR!

whisper.

Dear Mr Nobody

I am perched comfortably on this heavy chair, sprawled out on the concrete bench, esconced in the marble recliner. A pang of panic and then my ever soothing mind quickly tucks me in, pulling the fog up to my chin as to keep me warm. With my eyes closed the flashing lights just paint pictures in my thoughts. Pictures of Summer Girls in their Rich Dresses with Glossy Thoughts that bounce like their Stupid Curls.
One more pang. Back to reality. Sit up. Take a sharp breath. I see Mother Apathetic around the corner with that dose that will desensitize.
Not ready for the day. And then all too soon I'm not ready for the night. What is on Time's mind? He is rather sporadic as of late. I really must send him a basket of something that shows how grateful I am. Am I thankful? What's going on? Who was I talking to again?
I'm drifting...

Implicit Artichokes

We, the Polar Bellz, have tirelessly fought to warn you about the tragic dangers of everyday life. But today we are going to rock your universe by taking the opposite approach by advising you to do something dangerous. Go ahead and read that sentence again, it won't be different the second time around. We are advising you to do something dangerous.

STOP!!

Now we aren't saying go make a bomb out of an orange and some contaminated Diet Coke to take over the Minimart, or to jump from exceptionally tall buildings with only a garbage bag to save you, or eat before swimming or anything stupidly crazy like that.

We here at the Polar Bellz workshop have realized that life is getting a tad on the safe side. a.k.a. the boring side. No bueno compadre. Why live your life by just going through the motions? We believe in creating a world where crazy is the possible norm and your imagination really can be your best friend.

So take yourself out of your comfort zone. Even if it's just for a small fraction of time, chances are you won't regret it. Think about it. The fear, anxiety. What's going to happen? Here it comes, what if it goes wrong? Am I doing this wrong? This isn't so terrible. The moment is now in the past. You did it! Nobody laughed, and even if they did, at least you did it!! Adrenaline. Rush. Accomplishment. Success.

So go do something dangerous. Go do something unexpected. Go take on your inhibitions. Just go do SOMETHING. Don't let your life pass you while you sit watching it go by on the tv or the computer screen. Not cool.


And here at Polar Bellz, we are icebox cool. So chill out.

Pushing Buttons

There is a serious epidemic plaguing our nation today:
Button Pushing

It's real, and it's out there. We humans have been conditioned to push buttons. We derive some sort of sick pleasure whenever we do so. Companies, like Staples, knows this and they exploit it. Can you say "Easy Button"? There is something about button pushing that we just can't get over. As a society we have stitched buttons everywhere. Doorbells. Crosswalks. Elevators. Hadicap Doors. (I know you push it them) Keyboards. Car Horns. Remote Controls. Calculators. Microwaves. The list goes on and on. Think about it. How many buttons do you push daily? We are clearly out of control! First rolling, and now this! I challenge you to go a day without pushing a single button. 

Think you can do it? I doubt it.

*writers note: "pushing" is an odd word.

Killer

I've been feeling that killer instinct. You know exactly what I am talking about. That overpowering urge to cut down and demolish. That longing need to bury it in the mud. Look at that face. What a face, what a face? Well I'm facing myself now. And holy cow. They said 'Like, wow.' Don't you agree?
ha ha he he ha ha ha
That one's gone and here comes another.
Another form of me. Another what I want to be. So kill this old personality. And pour yourself a cup of tea. Come take a sit upon my knee and bask in my tranquility. Until I see another me. And feel that killer instict.
Take a deep breath. Doesn't that feel better?
Well it better. Because you don't have the guts to stop me.
So please excuse me. I really must get going.

A Bowl of Surreal

Salvidor Dali Eating a Bowl of Surreal.

Sometimes Things Roll

Sometimes things roll. Like a pencil on a secretly tilted desk, or an errant quarter escaping your fingertips. How about the wheels of your mom's car when the parking break is neglected? Or maybe that mango you dropped down the stairs last week... well that was more of a splat, but regardless. The point is, things roll. Everyday more and more things roll and the whole thing is a rolling snowball of rolling insanity. Something must be done! And very soon, else everything you hold dear will roll away as you, yourself, roll in the opposite direction. This problem has been overlooked for too long, and I'm demanding a reform of equilibrium! No longer can we sit idly by as our world rolls around through the cosmos. No longer can we hesitate while puffy dough is flattened by unnatural means! This is a call to action! A note of caution to all: If you're a roller beware, the squares are out there!